How can I improve my personal statement?

My first tips would be to:

• Avoid any cliché sentences. Do not use hyperbole to describe your passions as this will come across as insincere. Instead, demonstrate your enthusiasm by engaging with what you have taken part in extra-cirricularly. For example, if you have a passion for your subject - give examples that show how you are interested, rather than just stating that you are so. 

• Do not list your achievements! Each thing that you have accomplished or achieved should be written with the goal of explaining how this demonstrates why you are interested in the field of study you are applying for. It is not enough to say 'I attended lectures at Imperial college'. Instead, it is better to write what you found intellectually stimulating from the lecture you attended at Imperial college, what you took from it and how it has inspired you to want to study the subject further. 

• Try and ensure a good balance between academic and extra-cirricular activities. Universities want to see that you are all-rounded and are interested in activities outside of the academic learning space. 

• Of course, check for any spelling or grammar errors, and read through each sentence carefully. It is not enough to skim read - you must thoroughly check through what you are writing.