How should you start your introduction for your PS?

This can be done in many ways. This was mine: During my visit to South Africa two years ago I was struck by the economic divide between neighbourhoods. Adjacent to luxurious gated communities lay areas of desolate slum housing. Consequently, I started to question how and why such a disparity could occur, finding my answer in Economics. 
I would be happy to start from scratch or assist in amending personal statements.

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