Kids start learning from day one, which means they come up against challenges too. As a parent, you might want to jump in and rescue them if they’re struggling. You might also feel responsible for their education and keen to hold their hand through everything from homework challenges to their first exams.
While a parent’s role is so important in a child’s learning, it’s helpful to know when your efforts might be helpful and when it’s best to let them figure it out for themselves. Or, delegate to their teachers or tutors when you can’t help effectively.
Here, we speak to author and education expert Professor Guy Claxton to find out the things you can do to encourage them to grow – and the things that might not help in the long term.
What’s helpful?
Being a role model
Kids are easily inspired by what their parents do. While this can feel like a lot of pressure, it’s really just helpful to remember that setting a good example with things like healthy habits and a love of learning can rub off really easily.
From reading at home to dedicating time to your hobbies; limiting your screen time to being kind to your friends – by modelling habits like these, you can teach your child balance and spark their own passions without even trying!
Being a coach
Every child is good at something, and being their coach and cheerleader is a helpful role to play. Prof Claxton says that to build up your teen’s confidence in their schoolwork, you should encourage them in the areas where they’re doing well (without piling on a ton of pressure, of course).
And if they’re struggling with confidence or self-belief? As a coach, you can find out where they need help, listen actively and then help to build them up! By being more of a coach, you can also help them build independence and resilience.
What isn’t helpful?
Being a superhero
Whether your teen is struggling with their homework or cooking a meal, you might be tempted to just step in straight away and save the day. But, this can actually hinder their learning process according to Prof Claxton.
“It’s very common for well-meaning parents to come to the rescue. But, kids at every age – even toddlers – want to have a go on their own. They feel a lot of pride in working through a challenge, and they can get a bit grumpy with meddling parents.”
If your child is floundering or really needs help, you know it’s right to step in. But, when it comes to their learning, Prof Claxton recommends being a ‘guide by their side’ instead of a superhero.
It’s all about helping them develop the independence and curiosity that will help them enjoy learning. Allow them to be curious, adventurous and creative and it will help them enjoy taking on challenges, rather than fearing them.
Being a subject expert
You can’t be an expert on everything. And sometimes it’s better to reach out for support rather than stress yourself out.
Your teen’s teachers are always open and able to support you if you’re worried about their progress at school. Even better, a tutor who’s close in age to your teen could also double as a helpful mentor and great source of help.
“Involving someone neutral can take the charge out of a tough challenge,” says Prof Claxton. “The last thing we want is to add to children’s stress with our own.” Being a ‘guide by their side’ is all about giving teens the right resources so that they can smash it.
Want to help your teen level up? Our tutors can help them get ahead of new challenges and feel happier and more confident at school. Find the right tutor for them here.